Scott and Alie

Army Life. Education. Faith. Family

Archive for the category “Army”

Strong Bonds Marital Retreat

Our family spent the weekend at a Strong Bonds Marital Retreat, sponsored by the Army. The hotel where the marital conferences were held had a water park for the kids. Also included in the retreat was child care, a date night, and a few meals.

The retreat is based upon Mark Gungor’s, Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage. Scott and I had watched Gungor’s CDs after he returned from Iraq. I wrote about it here. So it was a nice refresher and also beneficial because we were able to talk to other couples.

The book complements the CDs and it has four parts:

1. Setting the Stage

2. The Laws of Marriage and Physics

3. Sex, Lies, and the Internet

4. Till Death Do Us Part

I would highly suggest the book or CDs. Mark Gungor has some sound advice and a great sense of humor. If you are part of the Army and can take the Strong Bonds Marital Retreat then definitely see if you can sign up. It will allow you to spend some time with your spouse, meet other couples, learn skills to keep your marriage strong, and if you have children they will have fun too.

The number one advice we learned from another couple (they have been married 16 years), is to calendar in lunch or coffee dates during the day while the kids are in school. They said that “dates” do not need to have all the “bells and whistles.” Instead it is better to have them anytime you are both free and to keep them “real.”

Scott and I really appreciated hearing how they had worked through tough times and how they are maintaining their marriage. We have tried having weekly date nights and most recently changed them to monthly so we could plan something nice and hire a sitter. What we never thought of was to meet during the day while the kids were in school and that it can be something simple.

If you are married, what do you and your spouse do to keep your marriage strong? Do you have regular dates? How often?

~Alie

A Midwest Town

Modern Day Moment in a Midwest Town

So far, what I love about Army life is the variety of opportunities to capture moments like these. We did a lot of driving over the summer. Scott came back from Iraq via being stationed in Germany and was assigned to Fort Leavenworth. But before we settled into our new assignment, we moved household goods from Salt Lake City to Lansing Kansas, drove to Arkansas for our wedding, went to the Bahamas, flew back to Arkansas to pick up our children, then drove back to Kansas. Along the way, I met wonderful people, strange people, and funny people.

Kansas has given me hope in the kindness of strangers, something that I have not experienced in big cities. While living in Seattle and very pregnant I tripped and fell while walking. I fell so hard I could not get back up and all my belongings scattered to the ground. People walked by. Nobody stopped. As I sat on the ground wondering if I had hurt my baby in the fall and realizing that my leg was injured a group of young girls stopped and helped me up. They gathered my belongings and walked me back to work. The girls that helped me were teens out shopping. Not a single adult person could be bothered helping a pregnant woman who had fallen.

That was a defining moment for me. I now understand how people can simply be consumed in their lives and cannot be bothered with helping another. Before that experience I had a difficult time believing stories of people being raped, robbed, or hurt while people walked by. Now I know it is absolutely true. However, the Midwest has taught me that strangers can be kind. They will literally stop and help you with the most mundane things. They will talk to you no matter where you are or what you are doing. This is definitely the place to hone your small talk skills.

In the next month we will find out where our next adventure and temporary home will be. I have my small talk skills perfected, well I am getting close. So whether we will be close to city life or small town life I feel well versed in either one.

~Alie

Wednesday Weekly: Stars and Stripes Father’s Day Greetings

For those of you that know a dad who is deployed, Stars and Stripes has set up electronic Father’s Day greetings. If you submit your entry before May 27th it will be printed in the Stars and Stripes as well as be online.

Please click here for more information and all of the details you will need. Also, please forward this to your family and friends and help get the word out so we can support all of our Soldiers and dads.

Much love, ~Alie

Reminiscing

Photo by Cat Palmer

Today I find myself reminiscing about when Scott and I first met. I was looking through photos to edit and update, that usually leads to missing someone that is far away.

This was my post that pretty much started my blog and it was after Scott deployed.

Did you know that Scott is over a foot taller than me (he is 6’4”)? This photo shows how tall he is, granted I am only 5’2” on a good day.

I truly enjoy his persona. He is strong physically, yet, his inner strength supersedes the physical. Scott has excellent leadership, organization, and planning skills, along with integrity, and reliability. The military has helped his natural talents expand into a career where he serves others and he enjoys it.

We have taken personality tests, color tests, and most recently the Flag Page. What we have learned from these various tests is that we approach life differently and our differences help one another to be a better person.

This post is dedicated to my best friend and future husband. Thank you for your differences and inspiring me.

~Alie

Reminisce

 

The Surprise! December 2009

Today, I found myself reminiscing about last Thanksgiving and spending time with Scott before he deployed. We went to Arkansas where I met his entire family, well immediate family. We had all of the kids with us except for one who could not make it. I think that was one of the best times watching all of the kids.

There is something about kids, that playful inquisitive nature it is contagious. I liked going on the small hikes and seeing the world through their eyes. I also enjoyed searching for the perfect branches to build a fort, and setting the “kids” table for meals, just being a part of a large family, it was the nicest feeling.

Also, when Scott is here I sleep soundly, something that escapes me when I am alone. I think I am in guard mode and wake to noises and never feel like I am getting a deep sleep. In fact, when I hugged Scott for the first time, what I felt was safety and a sense of being home. For me he has a calming presence and I really like that. I think most people have a sense of intimidation around him because of his height, yet I feel totally comfortable.

I started this blog when he left to document the deployment and the many stages of our relationship. Overall, my attitude is positive and brave. But, that does not mean that I don’t have times of weakness, sadness, and the aching feeling of missing someone. Yet, when Scott and I talk we think that the time away has developed parts of our relationship that would not have been the focus had we not been apart.

There are many pros and cons, and right now I am very thankful for the pros. I feel reassured and ready for the many adventures ahead. We are a team and it is an absolute blessing to be part of such a phenomenal team.

~Alie

Going the Distance

Today, I have realized that misunderstandings via long distance, bite. We assume and in our assumptions we can be way off track with our judgments. Isn’t that how most misunderstandings happen?

To find resolution, you have to factor in the ten hour time difference, hope the person checks their email, wait for their response, and eventually come to an agreement. Whereas, face-to-face you can deliver your information quickly and come to a compromise and resolution that day, especially if you have the understanding of not going to bed upset.

Being long distance has so many variables and at times it is quite challenging. When you are together it is rushed and so many things happen in such a compact amount of time. Then suddenly the person is gone again and it almost seems as if it was a dream. Our lives merge and then are separated once more.

Overall, I feel like the distance gives me strength and helps me be creative in my relationship with Scott. I feel better prepared for the challenges that remain ahead. I want to be there for Scott, whether we are physically together or thousands of miles apart. He is my best friend. I want to improve and grow through our misunderstandings.

~Alie

Inspiration

I was listening to a program on NPR about military teens and how deployment of a loved one impacts their lives. What was interesting about this program is that two teenagers created a forum for military teens to be able to connect, share stories, and offer support.

The Sisterhood of the Traveling BDUs

Projects

Stories like this are so inspiring. I truly believe that if you reach out to others you are not only helping others in similar or unique situations, but you are also helping yourself. Also, taking the focus off of yourself and reaching out can change and impact the world. They started small their state (California) and now their story has spread across the nation. I am sure their example will encourage others to create similar groups.

Great job to The Sisterhood of the Traveling BDUs!

A Tale of Inquiry

Scott

On this day one year ago, I emailed a friend on Facebook asking her who the guy was in some photos she had posted. Was he single? Was he a family friend? I thought he was adorable and I like men that are bald.

I will digress and say that I like men that embrace their balding heads or who shave their heads. So, it is fitting that Scott is in the military and shaves his head.

My friend emailed back and said yes he is single and I thought of lining the two of you up but he is living in Germany. I responded bummer, but at least we can email one another and if anything else be pen pals. So, I would say at least a 1,000 emails later we have become great friends.

Long distance relationships are challenging in many ways and yet very rewarding in others. The distance allows us to really analyze and take our time with topics we discuss. We know a lot about one another. Not to mention the countless books we have read together, the quizzes we have taken, our discussions, sharing our strengths and weaknesses, our misunderstandings, our drive to succeed, dedication to raising responsible kids, and our love and faith all have helped us nourish this relationship that started with a simple inquiry.

I get to joke that I “hit on him” first and I am so happy I did. I am absolutely blessed to have Scott as a friend. He is an amazing man and makes the world a better place! Thank you, Scott, for everything you do. I love you!

SAFE

Crescent Moon

The moon is beautiful tonight. A barely visible crescent moon immersed in white fluffy clouds. When I look upon the sky I often think of long dead poets that penned their love for the moon and sky. I think of my love far away and imagine him looking upon the same moon. Times like these he does not seem so far away as the clouds motion me to dream of him while the moon reflects the ebb and flow of life.

Now go and gaze upon the sky and let the beauty sing you to sleep,
~Alie

Let Us Dance

“Let us read and let us dance – two amusements that will never do any harm to the world.
~Voltaire

Too true. I have been reading voraciously lately and sharing with Scott what I have read and we are keeping a Facebook page with our book reviews. It has been nice to actually read again and encouraging when you share this with someone else. The distance does not seem so far when we are reading books together.

Dancing, oh the love of dance. I play music often and we dance as a family. Also, some of my best memories with Scott have been when we were dancing. We have done techno dancing in Germany and spontaneous dancing in Gateway while shopping for Christmas presents. Music brings great joy and dancing is a natural reaction.

So with January past and February here, time motions us closer and soon the distance will be no longer. Thankfully February is a short month! Spring will soon be approaching as we sing and dance to the rebirth upon us. With each passing day I am one closer to being in Scott’s arms.

Sending my love to a Soldier that is greatly missed.
~Alie

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