Scott and Alie

Men: Statistically Speaking

While browsing on Amazon.com I discovered a book about the “Inner Lives of Men.” I then checked the book out from the library and learned things that I really did not know. The book was a quick read and had data/statistics along with documentation of the journey in discovering these facts.

Inner Lives of Men

The author was writing a book and started doing research for one of her male characters. She started asking the men in her life about different scenarios so she could develop her character. During these discussions she realized some fascinating details about most men.

She then decided to take this research to a higher lever and had professional statisticians help her interview thousands of men and compile all the data. They interviewed men from all walks of life and this is what the majority (meaning most NOT all) men think, according to Shaunti Feldhahn:

• Men need respect. They would rather feel unloved than inadequate and disrespected.
• Men are insecure. Despite their in control exterior, men often feel that their inadequacies will be discovered.
• Men are providers. Even if you made enough income to support the family, he would still feel the mental burden to provide.
• Men want more sex. Your sexual desire for your husband profoundly affects his sense of well-being and confidence in all areas of his life.
• Men are visual. Even happily married men struggle with being pulled toward live and recollected images of other women.
• Men care about your appearance. Not necessarily that you need to look like a model, but you need to have confidence and take care of yourself.

The book breaks down each of these statements and goes into greater detail about the questions and some of the responses. The author said that during a marriage retreat the men and women were asked to choose between love and respect. Meaning if you had to choose between someone not loving you or not respecting you, which one would it be? The majority of the women said they wanted to be loved versus respected and the majority of the men said the opposite.

The author also discovered why while walking with her husband he would suddenly look up at the sky or at the top of a building. This would really confuse her and she would look up to see what had caught his interest, she could never see anything. It turns out he would do that instead of looking at a pretty woman walking by so he could give his full attention to his wife. She did not know this for years and then was amazed at his will power, especially after interviewing so many men and realizing what “visual” truly means.

I can’t really say which section was the best because I learned something from each one. The book offers great insight and helps foster a greater understanding of your husband, boyfriend, or any men in your life. I would highly recommend this book.